Following a personal experience of sexual assault and rape, I found myself frantically searching for something to read and connect to. I needed help to understand my reaction. To feel validated and heard. But I was grasping at nothing. Well - I was grasping at what felt like very serious, legal and generic information. For starters - my google searches threw at me words such as sexual assault and rape. And at that point, these words really didn't feel like words related to me. They are words I had heard before, but as I said, felt far too serious, legal and generic.
In retrospect, I was in shock. And I was scared to connect to these words. Words that now held a heavier weight than they had ever held before. Words that now felt like they jumped off the page and hit me in the face every time I saw them. I now know, that this is totally OK, and also totally normal. But there was nothing out there for me to read to know this. So, naturally I played my own experience down in my mind and to those around me, convincing myself I was overreacting. This avoidance only made things worse and is a key symptom of PTSD (-more on this later).
Unfortunately sexual assault and rape is very common, but society, and consequently the resources and information out there doesn't represent that. This blog will hopefully attempt to fill a gap. To create a more personal platform of how life has been since that night. Something that translates the more serious information out into something less marginalised.
Why Pillars of Support...? I have found a lot of strength in those around me. (friends, family, colleagues, professionals). They've definitely held me up and so been my metaphorical 'pillars' .. ?? Let's face it, finding a name is hard and acronyms can go one way or another and POS felt ok enough. Strength has felt key, and pillars seemed to represent that.
I must admit though, since finalising the logo, name and design I have realised that POS could alternatively be used in slang as Piece Of Shit... arguably though quite appropriate - perpetrators that have led to this blog even having to be created are quite frankly... Pieces. Of. Shit.
So - that's Pillars of Support or POS, whatever you fancy. I hope these words I write eventually find a place for others to feel validated. Please share, like, comment, or message me to get involved.
More to follow!
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All posts will be my own interpretation of my experience. Everyone has different responses to sexual violence and all of these are valid. If you need further help or someone to talk to please visit the Support page for more information.
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